Letting Go

A poem about saying goodbye to someone who's in the hospital.

I sit here watching memories
play a movie in my mind,
knowing they’ll be all I have,
all that’s left behind
after today.

There are so many moments that
I have shared with only you;
secret smiles and silent laughs
just between us two -
our private jokes.

Who’s going to laugh with me now,
and get what I try to say?
I’m being selfish, I know;
wanting you to stay
when you’re hurting.

24 hours of your time,
that’s what I gave to myself,
storing away each second
on a closet shelf
deep in my mind.

Listen to me now, I’m rambling.
Sorry for being a pain.
Just wanted to say thank you
for keeping me sane
through all the years.

The doctors are here now, it’s time,
no more hours left to buy.
It’s all right to go now friend.
Godspeed and goodbye,
I love you.

Tell Me

Catch me when I fall?
Will you heed the call?
Forever falling, fading out.
The light is shadow dancing.
What's it all about?

Crossroads

Going out of my mind -
it tickles, it burns
this promise of future.
Stiff like a board
each morning I wake.
The threats of tomorrow
bearing down on
my young-too-old shoulders,
leave me feeling guilty
of crimes to be proclaimed
by a jury ready for hanging.
Me or them?
Nothing tells nothing,
I read signs and portents
like the Sunday news,
but the censor and sensor
can't seem to agree.
Crow call, cuckoo call -
which way and which
direction my dear?
My head spins a compass
and the magnetic pull
of destiny and chance
tug a war with my soul.
Yet I can't live in fear.
Will not stay here.
If not up, then at least
I'll move on.
If not victory, then at least
I'll throw down.
And it will be
a merry-go-round.

20/20

Achy, breaky, disillusioned.
Disappointment and confusion.
In the night when all pretend
burns up and fades in ashen end,
I sit and watch my glory days
laughing for what hoping pays.
This is how the world's corrupt -
I should know the lesson well.
Still I tried just one more go,
failed to flow, and went through hell.
But after all, I'll try once more,
no one but me is keeping score.

Mistaken

Throw me in a bucket,
I will sink or swim.
Feed me to the lions,
I'll make food of you.
Try to misinterpret -
I shall lead astray.
Think I'm just a puppet?
You'll have to think again.

Guilty Till Proven Innocent

When dreams have retired,
I lie waiting in guilt.
Though I never committed
the crimes of the accused.

But I am still here when the judgment falls,
patiently waiting for that one final moment
before your sword does its work.

You’ll have until tomorrow
to see who I’ve always been.
Till it’s all but too late,
your mercy I await.

When dreams have retired,
I wait in the arms of night
to once more be embraced
by you, as the friend I have been.

Justitia’s eyes bring me some quiet comfort,
for as she is blind you too should see
behind the masks I’m wearing.

So I wait, though already sentenced,
for it’s true that something must give.
We’ll see what’s first to abandon us -
your ignorance, or my heart.

Black Truths and White Lies

You can say that you love me.
My answer is a sigh.
You can say that you need me
and I will do what I can,
for a while.
But please don’t ask,
control yourself.
Don’t go looking for answers
you never wanted to hear.
Honesty a virtue?
Don’t be absurd.
Everything can be forgiven,
but do you think this is a dream?
Honest liars,
that my friend,
that’s what they’re always wanting.
Euphemism,
beautiful thoughts,
while the soul get locked up inside
to protect the helpless wardens.